5 prison perks that are better than offshore

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  1. Your room might just be bigger!

Although there is no statutory minimum size for existing prison cells, the ideal minimum for a single occupancy prison cell is given as 5.5m2.

The minimum size for an offshore single cabin is just 4.5 m2.

Just think what you could do with that extra metre! To para quote Step Brothers – You would have so much more room for activities!

If like most of us you’re bunking in with your back to back…Well then you get a positively spacious 9m2! Shared…With your work colleague…

  1. And have more luxuries in it?!

Sky T.V, games consoles and musical instruments? Depends on your rig really…and whether or not you have successfully fitted a guitar in your heli bag.

  1. Access to Fresh Air and Time Outside

‘All prisoners should be able to spend between 30 minutes and an hour outside in the open air each day.’

Wouldn’t that be lovely catering staff?

  1. A Pet – Yes… a Pet!

Wouldn’t you love it if you could take your pet pooch or your faithful cat offshore with you?

Well in some US prisons you may be allowed to keep a pet ‘for purposes of rehabilitation’. And in the UK you could be allowed to keep a pet bird.

But let’s face it…there’s not much room for walkies on an offshore platform. I’m not sure your pet would thank you for being taken along!

  1. And finally – some banned items in UK prisons…sound familiar guys?
  • alcohol
  • a camera
  • a mobile phone